Husbands, Wives, Space and Time...

Shalom.

I just wanted to share a little something from my life concerning husbands, wives, space and time. By space and time I mean that husbands and wives need time apart. It is true that the Bible tells us "the two shall become one." However, that doesn't mean we are supposed to be around each other 24 hours a day, seven days a week. It is healthy and needful for a husband and wife to spend time apart. You need sometime apart to truly appreciate the time together. And make sure you have time together, because that is equally important. And time together is more than just having "married people relations," if you catch my drift.

For me and my wife, we learned that early on in our marriage. By early, I mean in the fifth year, or so, of marriage. And by learn, I mean that I realized that it was alright for my wife and I to spend time apart. I had to learn that the hard way -- meaning a few hash words and major problems in my marriage for it to get through to me. I needed to ask for help from God to get over my issues with always needing to be around my wife and the need to have to know where she is all the time (that translates into me having insecurity issues, which I am still struggling with at times). And if I am calling my wife to check up on her while she out, that is not good. I need to let my wife do her thing and realize that she will return home. And that means I need to occupy my time with something else and not concentrate on when my wife will be home. If you have children, you automatically have something to occupy your time. But if you don't, then I would suggest you get a hobby. Or find some friends to go out with yourself, or go out by yourself. In other words, get yourself a life.

As husband and wife, you will bring expectations or understandings into the marriage that you don't realize can cause major challenges, or major problems in the marriage if those expectations or understandings are not communicated. If you don't know by now, communication is key in all relationships. And we should be willing to communicate in relationships that are worth something. However, you must understand that men and women communicate very differently. So, husbands and wives are faced with the challenge to learn the most effective ways to communicate with each other. And this is not impossible, it just requires some effort.

So please, people, be OK with your spouse going out with the girls or the boys. It is all good. You should find that allowing them that time away will help them appreciate you more and let them know you are secure in your marriage.

Blessings.